It is okay to love, dear one.

To love is to be. To exist and to do it well.

To love is to look upon the eyes of the sun.

It is okay to feel, however fleeting it may seem.

It isn’t always a painful deal. I could argue that it is a dream.

It’s okay to be in love even it seems as though your fate has been sealed.

It has…

Once you’ve truly loved.

This has been my daily reminder as of late. I wrote that poem almost a year ago now. To be frank, I couldn’t relate to it at all back then. I guess I was trying to be positive, in light of having absolutely no hope of finding the “one whom my soul loves.” If I knew what I know now back then, there would be so many things I would have done differently.

This one is for you, G.

I have been holding out on him for a minute. I’m still having difficulty with the words to describe the pure ecstasy he creates within my person. All cheesiness aside, (and there will be plenty, my apologies.) I have never wanted to build a home this greatly like I have with him. Hell, I’m even learning to cook. Not so I can be this perfect housewife someday, but because I want to be able to take care of this. Of us. He has taken care of me in every way possible. I feel considered. More than all else. I have never been able to say this.

We are just like the movies. I didn’t think that was even possible. Never have I dreamed of having a love at first sight. That didn’t exist. I couldn’t fathom the idea of “when you know, you know.” Well, here I am. Here we are. This is the first time I have not wanted to be in another place or time. I am perfectly content. For once. And hopefully.. for all.

His name is synonymous for Heaven to me. His name sounds like an angel’s harp gliding off my tongue. To hear his voice is to hear constellations weep. Their beauty combined with the brightness and the magic of the moon could never compare to matching the gleam in his blue eyes. Oceans of bliss cascade over me when he smiles.

I’ve seen this before. I’ve loved him before. Knowing when or where is beyond me. This is eternity. It has to be. Even if there are a million alternate lives to be lived besides this one, I wouldn’t hesitate to choose him in all of them. No matter how we manifest.

More than anything, I wish he could see what I see. Outward imperfections don’t and shouldn’t exist in the eyes of a lover. A true lover. He doesn’t realize that he is nothing less than perfect to me. I am blind to all except that truth. My heart melts with just the slightest touch of his hand. I see galaxies when his lips caress mine. He awakes all of my senses and all my inner passions I thought were entombed. I want to give him the world. For now, this is all I have.

I wouldn’t change a single thing in this moment. I want him to shift every aspect of my life. Constantly creating more room for him to expand in my mind and in my days, I want this to consume and touch everything. He’s already shed light on the darkest parts of me and made them have a purpose. Everything makes so much sense to me now. I feel like every single event that has brought me to this point has had its reasons. And I’m living them.

Fate isn’t something I have been confident in. Until May 24th.

Plans were laid out. We had had a rough start executing them until this point. Something this perfect has to have more of a gravitational pull, I think. Nonetheless, I pulled into the Bruster’s Ice Cream Shop we agreed to meet at. Nervous, I try to calm myself with some music as I wait for him to arrive. My hands were visibly shaking, and my body began to shiver. I wasn’t cold; that startled me. I had been on my fair share of first dates. Honestly, my expectations were a bit low. Before I know it, I see a huge Chevy pull in.

Rain begins to pour. We give each other quick hellos as we run to take cover underneath the window of the shop. The employee takes our order and I try to get out of the way as we wait on our ice cream. If you’ve been to a Bruster’s, then you know they don’t have any indoor seating. You just walk right up. Rain wasn’t expected, to say the least. My back finds its place against the side of the building. I look up to meet his soft gaze. From that moment forward, he has not ceased to make life so beautiful. Even when the weather doesn’t respect our plans.

I believe it was that exact moment. To say I fell in love is an understatement. I fell into a life. A happy, content, loved life. The timing was perfect. I had already dealt with my trauma and began to feel whole. All on my own, I was fulfilled. However, this is a happiness one could not possibly achieve on their own. I’ve reached Heaven without even having to die. I could say I’m lucky or blessed. But to me, the phrase I would use is my future has been handed to me. Wrapped up in the most familiar heart I have ever known.

Whom I love.

There. I said it. In a blog post. I couldn’t find any other way more fitting. I would have to write a million books before I could sum up exactly how happy our time together has made me. So, I’ll start with this.

You are my happiest subject. And my favorite. I love you. -K