You are the hell I damned myself to.

I am in pursuit of Heaven now.

You do not get to follow me here. This will be a sacred place. A place you will no longer have the liberty to taint. To stain. To harm.

I will be making this journey alone.

I don’t need you as a “life lesson” anymore. I don’t need you to remind me how to love or the reasons to do or not to do so. I don’t need you to show me who to trust anymore. You do not get to ruin this by your false assumptions anymore. I don’t need you begging me to run as far as I possibly can because they aren’t you anymore. I don’t need you as a reminder to not make the same mistakes anymore.

You will no longer be the epitome or example of love.

My energy will no longer be wasted on the likes of you or those that came before or after you. Heaven is too near, the edge of the clouds wisp in my grasp. Barely. All I have to do is let go.

Of you. Of me. Of everything I have ever known. Of irrevocable youth and the naivety therein.

It’s time to grow up.

I am realizing now that moving on from the past and losing pieces of me are not synonymous. I could never lose me. You were never a part of me. You did not build me. You did not create me. By god, you didn’t end me either. My loving you had nothing to do with you and had everything to do with me. I am the creator and destroyer of my love. Not you. Not anymore.

All ties are now relinquished. I can’t carry the weight of your absence any longer. I refuse to look through a lens where all I see are the memories that hold you in it.

The memories are engulfed in flames now and I am sick of the third degree burns.

Heaven won’t heal my wounds. However, maybe the pursuit of it will. After all, I hold all the capabilities I could ever possibly have. I just have to use them.

One. By. One.